...

You screw up my frienster, change all the settings, change my password and email so i can't log in and over that the email was your ex's. so what does that tell me. though u dumped her you're still not over her. or was it u that broke it off in the first place? anyways this aint abt her. u made me see you in a different way. when i asked u kindly to change it back u said dont talk to me and then you call me names and shit.
after i ask what happened to you u start apologizing. ok fine you said you're sorry and its been a whole day since then and you still haven't changed my friendster back to the way it was.
anyways i just dont care, i dont wanna get involved in your shit and all in all im just not gonna get involved with you anymore.

(^)

Edwin Loon- what can i say abt this guy. he's a fucked up bastard!! all i did was be nice to him. i gave him almost everything i could. i bought things for him, paid for him, let him stay over my house whenever he wanted to and what does he do? accuse me of doin things i never did! and today!! -having another number?! and over that saying why did i do that? what the hell does that mean ? what did i do? how can he think that? after all i've fuckin done for him!! that bastard! i never even got another number..even if i did so what? WTF IS HIS PROBLEM!! go and fuckin die u fucked up piece of shit! i never wanna see or hear from you ever again! and i meant what i said in that letter. all u think abt is yourself. u just use ppl. use them for money! for anything you can get out of them!! you're SELFISH, OBSESSIVE, GREEDY, CONTROLLING, DISGUSTING..YOU'RE JUST ERGH!!!

4/26/2008
4:43:52 PM

~ ™ eB dL wA iN nK ™ ~
i already knew it was you from the begining
~ ™ eB dL wA iN nK ™ ~
why u wanna go n do that
R~ withered
where u getting all this fucked up information from huh?
R~ withered
think whatever u wanna think
~ ™ eB dL wA iN nK ™ ~
that was the plan anyways
~ ™ eB dL wA iN nK ™ ~
just wanted to screw u a lil more

you have no idea how much u hurt me. i tried to let this go as easy as possible. but you're so fuckin screwed up u can't end it without a fight. well are you happy now huh!!
the worst mistake i've ever done in my entire life was fall for someone as wicked as you!

Her*

There she was.. in a distance. the lights were everywhere..moving..in different colours. it may have seemed to be a club. but it was her* friend's house. she brought me along. made me think that we were finally becoming friends after the continuous ditching and silence between us. i always wondered if there was something weird going on.. she always stared..then looked away. and smiled once in awhile. i found it uneasy but she was so pretty when she did. so i followed her the the party. and we were dancing together. all of a sudden she started kissing me. at first it was the cheek. so i didn't think anything of it and i gave her* a peck back on hers. then she eased closer and kissed me on the lips..i looked at her*. but she was distracted by the music and crowd-just kept on dancing not looking at me. so i ignored it and kept on dancing. after awhile i felt something nibbling my neck. it was her*. she was all over my face. making out and nibbling my skin at the same time. i don't know why but i ended up doing the same to her*. she was too hot. how could i not? at the end of the evening we were an item. i heard her friends "what is she doing with that girl? she heard it too. didn't seem to care what they said. i began to feel awkward. what am i getting myself into?

Shopping!!

went shopping with dad today. Awkward! hehe. got most necessities which was not much. then i bought bras and it turns out im not a size B75 anymore. Im now size D70!!! that was super weird. i got a few sexy lacy ones..oo0o.. and mathching panties:) hehehe. but the sad thing was that i couldn't get the sports bra from lasenza that i wanted because they sent the stock back to the warehouse. damn it!! should have bought it the last time i saw it. @$!&%!!!!!

i got myself a new camera!! panasonic lumix. wanted to get the latest sony cybershot but then got one that was much better for the same price. rm1440.

two weeks later.....

i find out that by bra size is still b. its just that one type of bra brand-xixili which has doubled the size...but still the same. oh and the camera is not that great. regret canging my mind should have just goten cybershot one. but what to do now. cannot exchange.

SK Concert/ Outing.

11/4/o8. Sean kingston concert. we buggers went late and so missed the whole thing except for the last two songs. after zouk we landed the great volvo 240GL at Heritage. After that everything was just screwed up. ed's fren joel started talking nonsense about this and that.

Begining to See

You can make me whole again..

I'm actually quite glad its over.

I just couldn't take it anymore.

..the wrappers on my study table, the used plates on the counter, the dirty footprints on the mattress, the open shower foam bottle, the bucket left in the tub, the towel not spread out when its wet, my cup on the coffee table, the dining table chairs not in place, the smashed cigarette sticks on the floor.. need i go on?

i know I'm not perfect. i know I'm messy sometimes. But this is just too much.

there are idiots out there probably thinking that I'm just fussy but i don't give a shit about what you think.

if you think like that you obviously don't know me and don't care about me.

i desperately need to talk to someone:(

Finally Got It Through

i agree with you. the way you handled it was kinda cool. wasn't really what i was expecting..as you can see. but its good. and we're still close. too close in fact but who gives a damn. not like anyone of us gonna be hookin up soon.. right? hehe*

Touching*

damn if only i had kept those msges for abit longer. aite heres how it goes..sorta

chatting online-

r: so when u gonna kiss me?
hidden: y?
r: no reason. just asking.
hidden: after you push me.. malu
r: what? i never pushed you!!
hidden: why do u want me to?
r: no no come to think of it i dont want you to.
hidden: haha. why?
r: err..cuz you dont want to.
hidden: haha. i want to.
r: what! i mean yeah ofcourse u want to i knew that. jeez
hidden: what do u want me to say. would u allow me?
r: allow u to? kiss me?
hidden: brb
r: i gtg anyways.
r: yeah and i guess i would allow you to.

after going offline..r got an sms..

hidden: you would allow me?? lol
r: err..yea i would. but i dont even know if you're interested.
hidden: are you?
r: yes i am.
hidden: why? just asking.
r: i dunno. its just the first time we went out i've been interested but you weren't so i just kept to myself.
hidden: i was interested. you wanna find out how remember i told u i wanna lose my virginity to you.
r: oh w0w! really. actually i felt the same way.
hidden: yea and all u said was im honored.
r: aite well thats in the past. i tot u were playing. anyways ..

yes thats the story. you could think of it as something i just made up for fun or something that is real and going on as we speak... either way..its nothing. so somebody better not get mad.

Confusion gets to all of us.

I’ve been thinking. Yeah I do that a lot. Surprising huh? I know we’ve been apart for a couple of days. I’ve finally gotten to clear my mind without your voice breathing down my neck every few hours. And fine I may have went to seek advice from a friend. And what I’ve come to is this- it’s so much better if we just remain friends and I really want to be close to you. I’ve just been so down these couple of months I can’t take another fight or argument. I know we’re very much in love but I feel that I’m beginning to hate you more than love you. Does that make any sense? Though sometimes you very well know how to pull me back and make it seem all right but its not. You just can’t erase what has happened. We’ve gone through too much shit to make it disappear. Sure we’ve had good times but that’s not enough to make the bad times subside. Not with me I just don’t forget. I know its harsh but I’m the type of person who doesn’t forget when a person acts so mean and rude to me I keep it inside. I try to do my best to act like im fine with it. Normally I am but not in this case. I’m so sorry but too much has been going on. You’ve been away for a few days and I actually feel... Relieved. I feel good to know that we’re friends. I’m just scared cuz….i haven’t broken the news to you yet. I hope u can take it. But you’ve been expecting it anyway right? Im sorry.
You know what I think this is good. Im sure you wont cry like you did when you and your ex broke up. I mean that was a real damn nice heck of a relationship wasn’t it. Well that’s what you keep telling me abt her and so I just put together that it is..i mean was. ®
but then again.. i take it all back??

Torch Lights

how do i make this sound less obvious..hmm
there are two torch lights..one is dimming and the other one is getting brighter little by little.
the one that is dimming still has a chance. its batteries can be change. but what if the batteries are not the problem. maybe it's got a loose connection. or the wiring is not set right. it doesn't get any brighter but continues to dim. does the user chuck it away and get another one or does he fix it over and over again?
and how about the light that is bright. its not that far ahead and it doesn't look too great either. it could be what the user wants it to be. even more brighter with full charged batteries. though it gets brighter little by little its not jumping to the extent that it could be. is it playing around with the user's mind? now put this in reality..basing this on something much more then it seems.
get the picture?