Scars

My mind distracted.
Thinking about him, i scribbled on a piece of paper.
I coloured in the holes.
Picked it up and it read ' BASTARD'.
I was not at ease. Couldn't work. Tried to read more into what i was doing at work. Tried to learn the meaning of the term Bill of Lading as its something to do with what my work involves. Read the first line.. as i began to read the second.. my mind started to drift off. Wondering why am i feeling this way. Im supposed to feel angry, revengeful. but all is aching.
Im in pain.
I have done so many things. was it all for nothing?!
When will this ache go away?
Why do i feel like i've got nothing left.
Where are you when i need you??
Im screaming, does no one hear my cry?